A New Chapter

Making the leap into the unknown seems weird in the moment. Thinking back on the first time I decided to further my studies abroad (the Netherland) I was scared as hell, but I shouldn’t have been. Here’s why.

Fear and loathing

In the year 2009, way back when I had all the time in the world to bindge(erhm p!rate) half of the Lost season in a couple of days and game all day, I decided that the best route for me to take after my studies is to study in the States. This was a typical thing for most Arubans when they come of age after highschool (and other island natives). Back then there was little to offer someone who’d want something bigger than 180 km² of island space filled with gossip and corruption. Choices were scarce: study law, study education, study hospitality or GTFO.

This decicion caused me allot of fear, especially of the unknown. So I decided to take some time off on the island while I think. So I did what most of us Aruba natives did at that age. I went out allot, clubbing, drinking, procrastinating, but mostly importantly filling my doubts and fears with allot of drinking and partying.

But after a while this gave me a sense of self-loathing because my poor choices and I realized that this is not what I wanted my whole life and decided to re-evaluate. After a year of working a part-time job and running around the island with friends, I decided to thightend my vision for my future and make some plans.

Taking baby steps

At the time, the thought of going to an Amercian State University and making it with the “American Dream” seemed so tempting. But in reality, it was unrealisitic and unpayable. Just to make it through a year of a community collge would cost up to $10k, and that is without books, rent or parties. I’d be a hermit through the whole “College Experience”… maybe thats why I chose this theme.

After a long conversation with my Mom (single mother of two) and also after crunching the numbers for my education myself. I realised that all that dept… it’s not something I would want to leave her behind with. So I decided that The Netherland, where tuition and student living is cheaper, was the better choice.

In the end it’s all about taking baby steps towards what feels right.

New Beginnings

I’m glad I made those baby steps and had conversations with family and friends who also had the same challenges.
Those feelings of fear and uncertainty… they’re still here, some days more, some days less.
But believe me, you’ll figure it out along the way, just put in the steps.